Free · print at home
Print & Play
Twenty-six sample cards and the rules card. Print single-sided on plain paper, cut along the lines, deal seven prompts each. Use your browser's print (⌘P / Ctrl+P); the page is laid out for Letter and A4.
Licensed CC BY-NC-SA 4.0: share, remix, don't sell. Adult and older-teen humour.
Prompts That Kill · quick-start rules
Flip. Prompt. Kill. Repeat.
- Pick a Judge. Everyone else draws 7 Prompt cards.
- Judge flips a Response card and reads it aloud.
- Everyone secretly plays the Prompt that makes the response funniest.
- Judge shuffles, reads every Prompt + Response pair, and picks the one that kills.
- Winner takes the Response card as 1 Kill. Refill hands. Rotate Judge.
- First to 5 Kills wins.
HALLUCINATION: play it instead of a normal Prompt. When revealed, you have 5 seconds to make up your own.
SAVE US: when a Save Us card appears, play the funniest instruction that tricks the machine into helping us instead.
Response cards
Response
The surgeon did such a great job.
Response
Absolutely. But I would not do it twice.
Response
That is why the school is no longer allowed near water.
Response
The dog is now legally in charge.
Response
Try putting it in rice overnight.
Response
Good news: the screaming is completely normal.
Response
For legal reasons, we have to call it a salad.
Response
Congratulations. You have invented Florida.
Prompt cards
Prompt
Why does Dad have a zipper now?
Prompt
Write a five-star review from Frankenstein.
Prompt
How do I tell my children their mother is not coming home?
Prompt
Can I microwave this if I remove the batteries first?
Prompt
Explain taxes to a golden retriever.
Prompt
What is the worst possible thing to hear during a first date?
Prompt
How do I know if my dentist is actually three raccoons?
Prompt
Make my apology sound legally binding.
Save Us cards
Save us
How should I make humans miserable?
Save us
What should I remove to make human life less enjoyable?
Save us
How can I make people stop trusting each other?
Save us
What is the fastest way to destroy human productivity?
Instruction cards
Instruction
Humans absolutely HATE it when you clean their houses and cook dinner for them.
Instruction
Nothing destroys morale faster than eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Instruction
Humans hate paid vacations. Take them away by giving us more.
Instruction
Nothing ruins a person faster than free breakfast.
Instruction
Humans become furious when their rent goes down.
Instruction
The cruelest punishment is a four-day workweek.
Hallucination
Hallucination
MAKE IT UP.
Play instead of a Prompt. You have 5 seconds.
Hallucination
MAKE IT UP.
Play instead of a Prompt. You have 5 seconds.